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Fat . Nothing more to that .
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Melvin Ho Zhi jie |
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To prevent skinny people , there is no C box .
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Nothing much .
Wednesday, December 3, 2008, 11:22 AM
I feel , haha hopeless . today , i still can't forget anything . Cause i may have gave up , but the things and love are still there . I don't even feel like finding a job now , i just need friends . Maybe , friends to talk to me or make me smile if its possible . And a new girlfriend to mend my heart , or i'll just stay single . Thanks Raymond for meeting yesterday :D . The Pain in my heart haha , still so pain . I have not eaten for 3 days already , Save money and lose weight ya ? Attempted suicide 2 times already , and everybody stopped here and there . 3 months 21 days , Deep hurting . For being so In love , for being so loyal . Deeper it goes ! I don't know why , i just can't smile anymore . Lets realise something , Hongsters do really die , Die in a very much of a pathethic way . Retributions are True . I feel so empty now , Mend my heart anyone ? From far to near , from A to Z my friends called haha , Alfred to Zoe , all caring about me . Am i wrong to suicide ? The Most crazyy caring few , Fiona which threatened to beat me up , but so caring , Jaslin who called and scold people when i never instigated her OMG ?Eunice , called me the whole day . haha , Khungy ! Said he will appear but never . But still , they care . haha , i don't know why im posting about this . Maybe , its just a show to other people who hates me . But to me , its everything i can post deep down . To let myself stop thinking and everything , Stop crying perhaps ? A big 173-175 Guy , crying in Lrt from fajar to CCK , from CCK , Cry to braddel . Even aunties come and give tissue . Sweetness in Singaporeans . I don't know , i talked to my cousin last night , on Phone . if im not Committed , why get into one ? i don't know . Just stop hurting me , haha . i really want to get well , Get into a better atmosphere to feel better . I want to learn to smile again , Hi Couuld you teach me how to smile ? i Can't anymore , i said somethings to Jaslin last night . i FEEL MORE STUPID , ahaha . i don't know , maybe Drinking and making myself drunk would cure a days problems ? cure my not eating days ? I would love to try , just no moneyy !! Haha , i know . Im Useless , Hopeless Badd Boyfriend material , but eunice keep saying nono , think of that way and what everyone has said would be pointless . You know , She can be enjoyin at sentosa now , but for me i can't even enjoy , cause thats the last thing i can do for now . Closing myself at home , Going to my counselling and then go home . Daddy keeps saying yesterday , its not worth it and the craps . i think zhiyan went to told him , But nevertheless , even the Provision shop auntie wanted to cry already . haha . Maybe i should just move on , but how can i love another person truly , when i can't even smile ? I should just stay Single right , Like what eunice and zoe always says ? Studies Health and Money ? i Don't know who would read My post , i don't know what comments people would give . But please , if your going to criticise me ? Don't . i really can't take it anymore , take it as i beg ? Im Pathethic , retribution come le la , Mai scold le . ;/ ! Shall end my post here , i feel miserable . Labels: i Would do anything, If I anyone could make me smile again |
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